Interview with a friend

This blog is an interview I did with a friend. Her mom has a disability and I wanted to know how her life was affected. The insight I gained from her was bountiful and I am grateful for her letting me into her personal life and sharing this with me.

Interview with Lauren
Interviewing a family member of a person with a disability is very enlightening to understanding what life can actually be like for those who have a family member with a disability. People tend to ask questions like, “how would your life be different if your family member didn’t have a disability?” The truth is that is a question that I honestly think no one can answer because that life is the only life they know. Besides, all anyone can do in life is learn to make the best of any situation. This was the key idea that my friend Lauren wanted me to leave with after concluding our interview.
Lauren is a twenty-three year old college graduate with a bachelor degree in psychology, who will be graduating in May of 2010 with her masters in Mental Health counseling. The main reason Lauren went into the field of psychology after graduating high school is because of her forty-five year old mom. Lauren’s Mom has a mood disorder called bipolar disorder, or also known as manic-depressive. Lauren explains to me that manic-depressive is where her mom will have periods of depression, and periods of elation, or mania. This mean that she can be really sad at one point to really happy the next. Lauren’s mom was diagnosed in 1989 after she was hospitalized for multiple suicide attempts, Lauren was three years old. She further explains how her life and her mom’s life have been affected by this disorder. “My mom is a very loving mom, and so is my dad, after my mom was diagnosed with bipolar disorder my dad felt relieved because it explained a lot. All the days when mom wouldn’t get out of bed, to all the days when mom was just spontaneous and would on a whim make a life changing decision such as getting a new tattoo.” Lauren further explained that her dad eventually divorced her mom because of her I love you, I hate you behaviors.
Lauren showed a look of sadness when she explained how her life was personally affected, “I never had friends spend the night over because I never knew how my mom was going to act. She had problems with drinking alcohol while taking her prescription medications and the outcome was always the same, she would constantly repeat herself and never remember how she acted.” Lauren said her mom never really had many friends because she did not know how to be a good friend herself. She, without regard to her own behaviors, was always kind of selfish. Lauren expressed that her mom was on three different kinds of medicine, a mood stabilizer, an anti-depressant, and an anti-anxiety pill. She said along with the medications her mom deals with her disorder by going to counseling two times a month and meets with a support group one time a month. Lauren stated that her mom is in between jobs a lot and at times cut off from society. If not for the help of Lauren’s grandparents, Lauren knows that her mom would not be able to pay her own bills. The last question Lauren was asked was “Is there any advice you would like to offer?” She replied, “Just know that the person who has this disorder cannot help it and to always try and be supportive. There will be times when you feel like why me? So have a support group for yourself.”
Upon closure of the interview I was moved hearing Lauren’s life story. Although it was her mom who has the disability, her life is affected by it also. I have known Lauren over a year, and learning about her past made me respect her more. Lauren’s decision to major in mental health counseling is perfect because of the life experiences she can bring to the table. Her positive outlook on life is inspiring because she stated how she maintains a great relationship with her mom despite the ups and downs. My initial reaction was to feel sorry for her, but she would never want anyone too. This life is all she knows and she said “I would never trade it for anything.” Lauren has made me appreciate my family so much more.